So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
