WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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