Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
