whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
