I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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