last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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