I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just threw up on my dentist
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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