WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize