He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
