i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
