but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
