All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
