She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
