dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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