Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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