After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
