He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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