I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
