I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
