If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
