Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
