I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
