And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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