I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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