Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no you cant smoke seaweed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
