The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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