Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He shit in the fireplace
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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