I never want to see another naked old woman again.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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