I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
