He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
