WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
