Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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