I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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