What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
