I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
