a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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