I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My feet surprised me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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