Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need a beard to bite.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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