It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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