One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
