I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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