I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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