Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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