Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
