It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Drunk is not a location!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
