is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
