I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
