please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize