Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
