oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
