Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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