i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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