i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
