As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
