Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to have your abortion
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i've created a new STD.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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