We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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