I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
