She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
