You're a womanizer and a bitch.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
